Tomorrow is my one year anniversary. No, it’s not a wedding anniversary, or a business anniversary. It’s not a book anniversary either. Tomorrow marks the milestone of one full year of coaching with an amazing woman: Wendi Kelly.
Now, you may be saying, “But she’s your business partner, your friend, your co-author. Of course you’d say she was amazing.”
And you would be wrong.
Yes, she’s all of those things, but when it comes to coaching, I was a big skeptic. I had big resistance to coaching. Way back when we started five years ago, Wendi told me about coaching. I kind of rolled my eyes and said, that’s nice. Coaching wasn’t for me. Coaching was some kind of woo-woo trend floating out there on the web. Coaching was, in my mind, tantamount to going to a mental health expert. It was something you didn’t talk about, that if you couldn’t help yourself out of your own muck, you were a loser.
Then again, that’s a bit of a mindset left over from the era I grew up in. You didn’t talk about going to a shrink, you didn’t let anyone know you were going through rehab. You didn’t talk about depression or anxiety. That was considered dirty laundry. No one was supposed to know about it.
I watched my Mom go through her own struggles with anxiety and agoraphobia. Everyone she went to said it was all in her head. I look back at my own life experiences and I can’t count the times I’ve said to Wendi, “You know, if I had a program like Journey to the Center of Your Heart things may have turned out quite differently.”
These days we have celebrities and high profile figures wearing their problems on their sleeves. The problems are almost a badge of honor as they talk about their struggles with addiction and other mental issues. People announce they have depression, or ADHD, or that they’re bi-polar, or any other number of things. The terms are often tossed around without anyone really understanding what they are or how they work. There’s a lot of misinformation out there.
Yet, when it comes to ourselves, we don’t want the world to know. It’s fine for everyone else to shout it from the rooftops, but not us. We are our own worst critics and we judge ourselves harder than anyone else.
A year ago Wendi and I were at a crossroads. We sat in a nice hotel in Los Angeles, holding our annual Blue Sun Business summit. That may sound like fun, but it wasn’t. We discussed a lot of truths about our business and ourselves and it was at that point I knew something had to change in myself. I took a leap and decided to do coaching with Wendi.
This was a decision that could have blown everything we’ve done right out of the water. I knew I would have to get deep, I would have to open up and talk about things I didn’t want to…and share these things with my business partner.
I won’t say the road was easy. Far from it. There was always the fear of what she would think of me for speaking my mind, for saying what I truly felt. You see, I used to be a Chameleon, the ultimate master of disguise to fit in and please everyone around me. If something went wrong, it was instantly my fault. I hid from the world. I didn’t want to go out, was afraid to tell anyone my Big Ideas for fear of being judged. I wanted to make everyone happy and do what I thought they expected me to do.
I wanted to be recognized for the expert I am and at the same time, I didn’t want anyone to bother me.
As we started the JCYH group, it wasn’t just a journey for everyone else involved, it was my journey too. Whether anyone realizes it or not, I was walking that path right alongside every single one of them. Every weekly lesson became a lesson for me too—and Wendi. Each class topic managed to slip into our own lives and it was kind of eerie. The Twilight Zone couldn’t have written a better episode.
It wasn’t until this past week that I finally saw for myself how much I’ve grown and changed. I had written a post about our Saga finally getting on the shelf in a brick and mortar bookstore here in Vegas. At the end of the post I listed all the places I would be appearing in the next month. That in itself was amazing. I had appearances to list! What made me blink was when a friend of mine IM’d me to say, “Look at you with all those events! Who are you?”
Wow. Seriously, who am I now? Certainly not the same person who would purposely melt into the shadows at a party or conference anymore. I’m not the introvert I believed myself to be. I’m out there making connections, I’m not afraid to fail, I get a charge out of starting up conversations with total strangers. I know how to talk about them and draw them out, get them involved in the conversation. I stand strong in my creative Truth, I know what I like and what I don’t, what resonates with me and makes my Heart sing. I know what beliefs belong to me and what ones don’t. I know how to let others discover their own Truth and that because they have their own Truths that’s no reflection on me and no reason for me to take it personally. They have their stories, I have mine.
I’ve seen the proof. I know the Journey works.
But…it only works because I put the work in. While this is a massive testimonial for Wendi’s coaching skills, it’s also a testimonial for myself. Her success as a coach is contingent on my success as a coaching student. Does that make her a failure if I fail? No, it does not. Nobody can do the work for you. Wendi’s methods may not be for you, not if you want someone who will coddle you and tell you what you want to hear rather than what you need to hear. If you can’t accept the Truth from yourself, there’s no way you’re going to accept the Truth from someone else.
I’m not perfect. I never will be. And neither will you. I’m still growing and learning more each day. I have good days and bad days. There is no destination, there is no “arriving”. And I’m okay with that.
A year ago all of this looked huge and scary. There are still parts that look huge and scary, but now I have a set of tools that help me get through it and break on through to the other side.
You can do it too. All you have to do is take that first step and ask for help. Believe it or not, we ALL go through the same exact things. The situations may vary in their telling, but at the base, we’re all human, we all have fears, we all have beliefs that don’t belong to us. That’s what the Journey group is all about, knowing we’re not alone in this thing called Life and helping one another through it.
I encourage you to ask us about the Journey and I encourage those of you currently in the Journey with me to tell your stories, they’re all beautiful, inspiring stories. You’re all brave, courageous souls and you never know when YOUR story may help someone else.
Yours in Love and Light,
Are you brave? Do you want to pull yourself from the shadows and into the light? Join us on the Journey to the Center of Your Heart or get in touch with us for your own private coaching program through Creative Clarity Coaching.